10 Reflections About Marriage for 9 Years

  1. The love from a dedicated and committed spouse that truly sees you, is invested in honoring you and puts you before them will cause you both to soar in ways unexpected.  When you give completely of yourself you, your spouse will do the same.  No need to worry if you’ll be taken care of.  
  2. People are watching.  They may never say a word.  Some are judging you and waiting for you to fail.  Many are cheering you on.  Some are using your example to model or as a what not to do guide for their own marriage or future marriage.  You’re being judged! Lol. 
  3. What other people think does not matter.  It is you two.
  4. Loving your spouse how they receive love is crucial to the survival and overall health of your marriage.
  5. Happy wife does in fact make a happy life.  When the wife has joy and is fulfilled, the home runs more smoothly.  The kids and the husband bask in that joy and peace she creates because she is at peace.  But the husband is NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS HAPPINESS.  He can and should add to it but this feeling of contentment is based on the wife fully doing her.  She needs to take care of herself as a woman and never lose sight of who she is and her purpose in this world.
  6. Both spouses need to be fulfilled individually.  Hobbies, trips, alone time, whatever.  Each needs to factor that in because life is hard and we need breaks.
  7. When a million things come at you all at the same time, you must look to God and keep your eye on your spouse.  Both of you cannot drown.  You will take turns being the “strong” one.
  8. The perfect marriage for you and your spouse is created by investing in one another.  The kids do not come before the marriage.  Date nights where you turn distractions off and tune in to one another are essential.  
  9. The way your spouse experiences you needs to be discussed.  You can truly think you’re giving your all but if that’s not how your spouse sees it or can receive it, conflict and resentment can arise. 
  10. People change, dynamics change but the vows you took never change.  The commitment expectation does not either.

Bonus:  Marriage is forgiving and forgiving and forgiving again.  Many times the issues a spouse presents after marriage (seemingly from nowhere ) can be so confusing.  Marriage can uncover issues you had no idea were there and it may take some time to work through. Having grace to help your spouse grow and overcome is beautiful and it will require forgiveness, reworking strategies, effective communication and possibly therapy.  But if both parties are committed and choose to work together the issues can be overcome.  


Life Can Suck But Still Be Great!

Life Can Suck But Still Be Great!

I don't have much more to say so this won't be a long one. 
There will be hard times, trials, devastating times, heartache, lows, etc. These moments should not stop you. Taking a pause can be necessary and beneficial to adjust.  But don't stay there.  Take what you need from the trial and be great in this world while you have the chance. What were the lessons? Who showed their true colors? You learned something.
No trial has the power to shatter your future unless you give it that power. I see it as my right and my payback to the yuck of life to strive for greatness. The bad things did happen, and they hurt!  But you are here!  Are you willing to fight?
Sometimes you don't want to fight. I get it. But what is the alternative? 

Make life understand that you will NOT stop and you will do amazing things, despite what you've been through.


#CamSays #CamsNotesToSelf


Hard Love Learn

I love the beach but I hate sand. It gets all in your everything lol. You literally clean sand for a week after a good beach trip. 
I love the part of the beach where the water and sand meet. The sand is soft and inviting and when the weather is perfect, the water is a delight. I could literally stay at that part for hours(What’s it called-shoreline?).
But in order to get to the shoreline, you must trudge through the unstable, sometimes hot, rocky, prickly sand and depending on the beach, that can be a lengthy walk. 
Sometimes we must go through a tough time to get to the good part. 
This has been evident in my life on several occasions: got married the same year my health was initially challenged, had a baby, health got worse, mom died, had a baby a week later. Literally, the BEST and worst things have happened to me at the same time several times.
I remember being the saddest I could ever be when my mom, my best friend died. And I hadn’t gotten to see her in a few weeks because I was on bed rest. Then just seven days later I had The Boy and I felt such joy when I held him. Like I couldn’t believe how I could feel so happy after just moments ago feeling immense grief. It boggles my mind almost four years later. 
If given the option, I would ALWAYS choose the easy way. But the hard things build character, grit, and stamina. They challenge you and show you what you didn’t know you had within, or what’s missing and you need to build up! The good times and easy things are great and can make for great memories and can cause you to change and strive for greatness and will warm your heart during a tough time but hard work, strife, and challenges can cause you to transform in a way “the easy road,” may not. 
So while I’m grateful for the good and truly cherish and often reminisce, I’m honestly not sure I’d have the compassion, heart for people, or perseverance to live life full out without my most challenging moments. #CamsNotesToSelf


I’ll Take the Good with the Bad

So apparently I need strife in order to grow. Who would have thunk it? Lol. 

I remember and relish in my fun times. But you aren’t growing grit and endurance while having fun.   It’s just the truth. 

 I acknowledge my hard times, trials and show gratitude for the immense growth that took place during and as a result of them. 

But I also want to highlight the amazing times. Watching my kids create and be awesome, date nights with my husband, trips to new places, accomplishing goals, family events and outings, new babies in the family. I’m so grateful for my good moments. 

Without the hard times we wouldn’t grow but within the the good times for me life would be unbearable. 



Oops. I Did it Again!

I missed almost 4 weeks posting on the blog. *Sigh*
I saw the reminders but ignored them because honestly I felt off and have been a little inconsistent with a few other things. 
This week I refocused and looked at WHY this happened. When I don’t do ONE thing in my schedule it really messed me up. 
When you’ve been a certain way your whole life, it’s not just easy to change in a week or even a month. So here’s a readjustment. 
I will leave you with this conversation with my daughter. I want her to learn the right things from me. I love her beautiful and creative mind. I see how she loved to create and will be such an awesome person but she will need to learn consistency and focus to make her dreams come true. So I’m displaying that in front of her!

*Mother and daughter discuss movie project.*
“Well it’s a musical so we need actors who are also singers.”
“They have to be amazingsingers. They need to sing as good as me.”
Oh okay. We can make that happen. 



Let’s Talk About Sex!

Dear, the church....

Let’s teach our kids about sex. 


So they aren’t weird and can be safe. Not talking to them about sex is not going to make them wait until marriage. 

Making sex shameful, secretive, and negative will not help them wait until marriage. Their own relationship with God will. 

Making sex shameful can cause disfunction and disappointment in their marriage. 

I thank God my mother was frank with me about sex and taught me about my body. I was like oh okay...thanks girl. Such awkward conversations because she was so honest, but necessary. And sex wasn’t the mystical off limits unicorn topic. 

Of course speak at your comfort level and how your child can receive it. 

And when they are 18 is too late.


Productivity Begets Productivity

I’m proud of myself. 

I am getting my life together and it really feels great. Like yes! This is what I prayed for and to see it manifesting is amazing. 

My life is turning into a well oiled machine. The more I create, stick to my schedule and check off tasks on my list, the more ideas and guidance are downloaded for the next steps. The path is made clear. I’m kind of blown away. 

I said I needed a break. Mom died and baby born within a week. Yeah, works rocked. My world. And I kept waiting to live until I could just... breathe!  Until this was just...or until  they were just...and I was left feeling a huge hole! 

You have to start somewhere. 

I had to start somewhere.  

You have to start.  




10 Reflections About Marriage for 9 Years

The love from a dedicated and committed spouse that truly sees you, is invested in honoring you and puts you before them will cause you bo...