I'm not exactly sure what part brought me to tears as I held both a wedding invitation from my friend and a letter from my dad in my hand. I don't even remember which one I opened first. I got so excited when I read the invitation, and had a chuckle at the "No kids" warning lol. But I immediately became overwhelmed with tears when I opened the other letter to see, first, pictures of me, my dad, and my sister from ages 0-5, an invoice for his last child support payments, and a written letter. Okay, I know it was the baby pictures. Because after marriage comes baby. It was just too much receiving both letters together!
While I am so happy for my friend getting married, I must admit that marriage scares me. I want to be married. Yes. But, I have my reservations. My mom and dad are battling through letter about how much my dad still owes on child support. I'm 24.
I understand that he owes back child support and that it just wasn't fair for my mom to raise my older sister and I by herself. The money that she was getting up until February was going to paying down the debt she has and helping me out here and there.
But then again, my dad says he's been paying for all these years and just wants to come up with a settlement but for my mom, the numbers don't add up. She wants at least half and according to her calculations, he wants to only pay about 15%.
So they tried to make me and my sister in the middle. Both of them want me to trust them and I don't trust either of them. I'm upset that this is even affecting me. I'm totally done with the whole situation and I will do whatever I have to do to make sure that no children of mine will ever have to go through anything like this.
It's like I already didn't have my dad growing up, and just when we were getting closer, this happened. I'm truthfully upset with both parents but my mom has been there so I kind of pulled back from my dad. But I love him! Torn in between the two...
Ugh! I feel so super whack but this too shall pass.