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3/11/2013

Two Years Down, Forever to Go


Proclaiming that your marriage will never end and that you and your spouse will remain faithful and committed is looked down on. People say "well you never know" or "I said that and it happened to me." It's true that you never know what can happen but as a person of faith, do I declare what I expect and accept in my marriage or do I proclaim what ifs and hope for the best?

I PROCLAIM THAT THERE WILL BE NO INFIDELITY IN MY MARRIAGE AND THAT WE WILL STAY TOGETHER UNTIL DEATH DO US PART!

I am not about to live in my marriage half committed expecting the worst and hoping for the best. No, I proclaim the best, pray for the best, expect the best, and actively seek to work on ME so that I am my best self and the best wife I can be. I am not only responsible to God for the health of my marriage but as I am guided by his word and daily prayer over my marriage I am aware and alert and I realize that keeping my marriage together is a daily fight. And I am also responsible to the people who pray for us and the small group we said our vows in front of. I believe if more people took this attitude toward marriage, more marriages would last. When you are uncertain and wavering on something it is easy to go astray.

But firt things first, you must choose right because if you have the wrong partner, no matter how hard you try to work at it, it won't work out. Last night I had a dream. Some friends of mine brought a girl over to where we were meeting up. She was very pretty and when my husband was introduced to her, he gave her a long sensual and lasting hug. I was so pissed off in that dream because he hadn't even hugged me before hugging her! I woke up and told him and he said "Huh? That would never happen." And it's so true. My husband gives church hugs to women lol. He doesn't even play with the ooh I think that lady is cute or beautiful game and doesn't appreciate when I play the ooh he's handsome and my movie star boyfriend/husband. I just keep that to my girlfriends and myself lol. He told me from the beginning I love you, I think you are beautiful and that's the end. And I believe him. I've been called naive and even silly but I trust him. And I have discernment. I am convinced that I've chosen the right man for me, one who has integrity, respect for me, thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world and wouldn't disrespect me by giving a woman an inappropriate hug. It sounds so simple but that's huge to me. In the beginning I would try to test him but as we continue to love and grow, he continues to show me that his love is pure and for me. He's definitely my guy.

I pray for my marriage and I pray for myself. No our life isn't perfect and just like any couple we have ups and downs but marriage is about growth. The firt year of our marriage we tried to change each other instead of letting God change us. Year two, we both had to step back and evaluate. And now as we navigate through year 3 we are both allowing God to do the work. Selfishness is fading. Pride is fading and we are really becoming a unit. I wanted so much in the beginning for HIM to change certain things but some stuff you live with because YOU CHOSE it and other stuff you pray for and God will fix it. I can attest to that. And more than anything work on you because the very things you complain the most about are probably the things you don't even realize you're doing.

I have mouth! Anyone who knows me knows that. I get mad, I yell or I just answer with an attitude or clever (and hurtful) quip. And in year one, he received the brunt! So much was going on. I feel like beside being my husband and partner he was sent to me from God to shield and help me navigate sickness but with the stress, fear, hurt, and anger of having to deal with sickness, I was a total witch! I was...and I'd yell at him and shut him out. I'm crying now because I'm so hurt that I hurt my love. And he kept saying but I'm your husband, don't talk to me like that. But I didn't get it. It was just how I speak to...everybody else. I felt like he was trying to change me. But no, he was just wanting the same respect he gave me. The same special place he has for me. He treats NO one the way he treats me and he wanted that treatment in return. Your husband needs to feel special and like you actually care.

It finally clicked. That's my husband! And because I chose him I honor him if for no other reason because God said that's what I'm to do. He is my gift just as much as I am his. Yes he found a good thing but I found a great thing! And he deserves honor and respect more than "everybody else." Now I haven't changed over night and pop off is just in me lol. But when I want to pop off and I hear honor your husband in my head, more times than not, I speak respectfully instead of from pure emotion. And he can dig that! He responds well to that.

Our story is only two and a half years strong but it is developing well. We've been through so much in such a short time. Some of the things couples face after years of marriage like chronic illness and money issues, we've faced in these 2.5 years. And because of that, I think we've grown strong and deep. Our roots are deep and we are rooted and planted to each other and God.

My husband is my home. Even though I will only get to speak to and love and hug him for a few minutes when he comes home from job 1 because he has to nap before job 2, I'm going to be home so I can get my 15 minutes of love, kisses and hugs in! Nobody has to understand. Nobody has to accept it. But they do have to respect it.

I love Mr. Hub-boo. Laughter has gotten us through. Here's a video of us acting silly and having fun. Laughter and joy will carry you through the toughest of times.



1 comment:

La Shay Clifton said...

Camile, I am just now reading this... WOW, awesome blog.
So amazing, thank you again for sharing and being so insightful. You are such a blessing. My favorite part of this post was the video of the two of you... Ha-lari-ous! Hahahaha. "We're hungry..." hahaha-- ya'll sound good together. I can't wait to create funny memorable moments with my honey =) You guys are amazing together Camden has the best parents and she doesn't even know it yet. LOVE YOU!