10 Reflections About Marriage for 9 Years

1. The love from a dedicated and committed spouse that truly sees you, is invested in honoring you and puts you before them will cause you both to soar in ways unexpected.  When you give completely of yourself you, your spouse will do the same.  No need to worry if you’ll be taken care of.  
2. People are watching.  They may never say a word.  Some are judging you and waiting for you to fail.  Many are cheering you on.  Some are using your example to model or as a what not to do guide for their own marriage or future marriage.  You’re being judged! Lol. 
3. What other people think does not matter.  It is you two.
4. Loving your spouse how they receive love is crucial to the survival and overall health of your marriage.
5. Happy wife does in fact make a happy life.  When the wife has joy and is fulfilled, the home runs more smoothly.  The kids and the husband bask in that joy and peace she creates because she is at peace.  But the husband is NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS HAPPINESS.  He can and should add to it but this feeling of contentment is based on the wife fully doing her.  She needs to take care of herself as a woman and never lose sight of who she is and her purpose in this world.
6. Both spouses need to be fulfilled individually.  Hobbies, trips, alone time, whatever.  Each needs to factor that in because life is hard and we need breaks.
7. When a million things come at you all at the same time, you must look to God and keep your eye on your spouse.  Both of you cannot drown.  You will take turns being the “strong” one.
8. The perfect marriage for you and your spouse is created by investing in one another.  The kids do not come before the marriage.  Date nights where you turn distractions off and tune in to one another are essential.  
9. The way your spouse experiences you needs to be discussed.  You can truly think you’re giving your all but if that’s not how your spouse sees it or can receive it, conflict and resentment can arise. 
10. People change, dynamics change but the vows you took never change.  The commitment expectation does not either.

Bonus:  Marriage is forgiving and forgiving and forgiving again.  Many times the issues a spouse presents after marriage (seemingly from nowhere ) can be so confusing.  Marriage can uncover issues you had no idea were there and it may take some time to work through. Having grace to help your spouse grow and overcome is beautiful and it will require forgiveness, reworking strategies, effective communication and possibly therapy.  But if both parties are committed and choose to work together the issues can be overcome.