Friends....How Many of Us Have Them?

Feeling some kind of way about a few different things/people. Life can just be really messed up. You never know people's intentions and reasons for why they do what they do. People mask themselves as "friend" or "sister" causing you to feel as if they are truly down when their true title should be "user", "pretender", "phony". And once these fake ass people are in your circle, there is nothing you can do. You know the truth, but you'd look crazy trying to make everyone else see the truth. And if you stop coming around, you miss out on the people you love.

So what I've learned this past year is I must be careful about who I call friend and who I let in. I mean, I love all the people who are genuinely my friends but dang, it hurts when you find that the one who you were really down for, ain't really down...Friendships can hurt and break your heart just like a romantic relationship or a familial relationship breaking/tearing at the seams. You feel it in your heart. But with love, I've been broken. Hell, I've been torn apart, stomped on, and left for dead. But I'd love again in a heartbeat! And I'd forgive my family until the end of the earth because God put us together from birth! But friends....the people who should be there for you throughout anything, through marriage, kids, sickness, vacations....The people who you go to when you are fighting with your honey, or when your mom is getting on your everlasting nerve…the people who see you at your worst and applaud you at your best…

I'm shutting the door. Never have I been this hurt to where I can think about it and cry at the drop of a dime. I had closed my heart to new friends before but God had other plans and I received some great gifts but I don't think it's going to be that easy next time. Easy to trust? Easy to love? How can I be so giving, when people are so careless as to discard me like garbage. I have feelings.

I'm just over it. And I can't say anything. What good would it do. "You really hurt me when you..."

*blank stare*

*awkward silence*

*Fake ass apology*

*Things remain the damn same*

~Cam