Growing Pains

If you’re a consistent reader of my blog, you probably believe that I believe that marriage is only good.  I mean as whole it is, but there are certain kinks two people must work out in order to become one.  People ask me just about every day (as mentioned in a previous blog), “How’s marriage?” MOST people are so very happy for me.  Take for instance, my friend Erica just informed me that she keeps telling everyone she has a friend who is married to the point that they’re like “You told me already” lol.  I feel like some of them want me to just burst into tears and reveal my secret truth that marriage is awful and I never should have done it!  One person asked me if I was divorced yet. HA! Never. 

People say never say never but I promise to you that the ONLY way my marriage would end is through death.  We both have a list of what we’d kill the other over hahahahhahaha .  *serious face* My list includes but is not limited to suddenly becoming gay.  Like huhn?  That’s a definite NO –NO!  That’s the worst thing a man could EVER do to a woman.  I’m not worried about that happening in my marriage but it has happened to someone in my family and that is some mess!  That sucka knew he was gay.  For the record, I have nothing against gay people.  I don’t agree with it but I love my gay friends and family and I refuse to shun them.  Wrong is wrong but treating any person  (whether they be gay, on crack, or a thief)  who’s lifestyle  you don’t agree with harshly and with contempt and telling them how disappointed I am EVERY time I see them will SURELY cause them to stay embedded in any manner of sin.  So no I don’t agree with hatred toward anyone, but a down-low?  A down-low brother, sister, whatever needs to get beat!  Like that’s so roofless and evil.  If you THINK you’re gay, don’t get married fool!  OOH I’m getting mad all over again!  Especially when kids are involved. OOOOOH!

Well I seem to have gone off on a tangent somehow.  Let me redirect my thoughts.  *refocusing*  Getting married was the BEST decision I’ve ever made.   Through struggles, and issues of all shapes and forms, my honey and I are making it and we are doing it together with God.  That feels so good.  Each and every day we are getting closer, better, and wiser.  I love the times where we just hold hands and talk.  No television, no computers.  Just us and our words…. *contented sigh*

And then there are the times when he gets on my effing nerves.  Yes! I said it lol.  Like today, he wouldn’t let me get the clothes that I just washed out of the car because I was taking too long.  He says I don’t need to do all that labor.  Mind you, he was at work when I went to the laundry mat and I only believe in one trip up or down the stairs so I lugged 3 huge bags of laundry down by myself.  So we get in the house, and he gets mad over me trying to read his mail which ended up being OUR mail.  They just couldn’t fit both our names on the label.  I knew it was information pertaining to both of us so I was just peeking trying to see.  He got mad because he feels that I try to take over everything.  I’m working on that.   So he walks away mad and the next thing I here is the shower running.

“Are you about to take a shower?”

“Yes!  Since the bed is naked, I’m just going to take a shower.” 

HUH?  What since does that make?  How is that your reason for taking a shower.  Confusion…Wouldn’t you want to get the clothes and make up the bed so when you get out the shower there would be somewhere to lie besides and empty mattress?  The bed is naked because  YOU WOULDN’T LET ME GET THE CLOTHES! DUH!   So of course I go and get all 3 HUGE bags of clothes BY MYSELF, bringing them UP the stairs this time sweating and all because I know he isn’t going to get them after his shower.    I come in, and he’s spread across the bed lying on his towel!  That’s when I got mad.  So I’m putting all the clothes up all hard.   And I was waiting until he was good and sleep before I decided I would wake him up to make up the bed.  So mean!  As I walk out of the closet, he wakes up , opens his arms, and says, “Give me a kiss.”  I of course say NO!  He repeats himself with that smile of his that gets me every time and I look at him, get over the petty anger, and give the man whom I love a nice big kiss!

Life is short.  I’m learning to live!  I’m selfish *gasp* I didn’t know that about myself and marriage has definitely pointed that out.   I can’t have my way ALL the time (most, but not all). *smile*  I’m learning to bend and to just get over stuff.  My husband works very hard for our family.  Back to back shifts, leaving one job at 6 am, only to change, nap, and be at his second job for 7am.  He does this at least 2 times a week and sometimes more.  So our time together needs to be filled with love and sweetness and not silly arguments.  We’ve only been going at this a month or two.  We’re both learning.  And thank God that each and every day we are getting closer, better, and wiser.