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5/23/2012

Taking it One Day at a Time

Well! So much is going on or should I say has gone on. These days I'm doing pretty much nothing lol. Okay that's not true. Dang! Where do I start. I quit my job. After 15 months and a wonderful run, I'm done. You know the health issues I've been going through (if not you can read some prior posts) and I finally decided that I had to take this thing head on! I believe one that God can heal me and two that God made the body able to heal itself. So I'm doing what I can do and praying for God to work a miracle. Today I feel good but around December 2011 I was feeling awful. After the doctor tried to put me on chemo in August, I decided to not fool with the medical doctors. The prednisone they had me on was NOT working anymore for my lungs and it had actually started making everything worse so they wanted to put me on a form of chemo used for non cancer patients with chronic illness to "stop the progression" and stop inflammation. But forget losing my hair, I would have lost my ability to have children. And that is so important to me. Man! I want babies. Cute, fat, smart, pretty, babies( lol just a tad vain). I said no! And I remembered what I found when I first read about the condition the doctors said I had. I found a few articles about healing ur self with the food you eat. I tried in the last two years so many failed attempts at going vegan or vegetarian and would always fall right back into my fast food trap. I had a few things working against me. No energy. This stuff has warped my body. I'm used to doing a million things and going non stop. The weight gain from the steroids and just the exhaustion caused me to not be ale to even keep my eyes open after work, let alone cook, clean, and tend to my loving husband. So all that fell by the wayside. Time. I loved my job but being there from 8am to 7pm was not popping. Even if I could get home and take a nap to try to recuperate, cooking dinner and cleaning at 9pm would only mess me up for the next day. Welp, Burger King it is! And then the final straw, I started school in January 2012. What was I thinking? Well back to December, I heard that still small voice tell me to quit my job. I was like what?! O and I joked about me quitting my job and becoming a Real Houswife of LA, but we were going to wait until he got his next promotion and we saved up a certain amount of money. Man, God always messes up my plans lol. So I had two weeks off work and I just knew I would feel refreshed when I got back. I did but that still small voice was on me something tough. My response; No! I'm not quittting my job. I like my job. It's a recession. Heck, it's dern neear the depression SMh. QUIT YOUR JOB! No! Lol. I said no but told O about what I was feeling and he said okay. Quit but quit after May. I was like yeah right in my head. I'm not quitting my job. Then it happened. This grief fell over me. Each morning I was crying on my way to work. The job that I loved and worked so hard to get and keep! When I got there I would be okay but my work had been suffering since November. I just couldn't shake it off. I ended up getting sick twice in Jaunuary and once had to miss almost a whole week of work. Im an executive assistant missing a day is like missing a week. Oops I was an executive assistant lol so each time I got sick, it wa like I missed almost a momth of work. So basically God slowed me down and made the decision for me. I prayed and prayed and finally me and O had a come to Jesus talk. This was in March. He said that I needed to go to work the next day and quit or he was taking me back to the doctor to get on the steroids because I was letting the stress get me sicker. The acupuncture and all the other natural remedies I was trying were not working because they can not combat stress. So I prayed. And I said, Lord if this is really you, give me the strength to go in here and say what I'm going to say to my boss. And God did. And guess what my boss said "I understand." Then he said "How long can you stay?". And then he told me he was proud of me for making such an important decision to take care of myself. Man! It's been my experience that when you are supposed to leave a situation, it will be peaceful on your way out. Not perfect but peaceful and I felt peace! I told him I could stay an extra month becaus that's what O requested. I was mad at first like you told me to go quit and now your telling me to ak my boss if I can stay a month? I thought my boss was going to say no and give me the two week boot but my boss loves me! Why? Because I did good work and I worked my butt off everyday. I will always be proud and thankful to God for the reputation of integrity and great work ethic that I left behind at my job. I continuously prayed that God would help me to excell at my job and he did. Well that month turned into a month at two weeks. I trained my preplacemnt and am on my merry way to a stress free life. This is week one for me of complete relaxation. No school for me until September so I am working on me. Researching new recipes, oh and cleansing! So my boss would have a perfect understanding of what I was going through, I told him what the doctors said I had. He got me in touch with a alternative health care specialist and she has me on a systemic cleanse. I'm on day four. Researching what to eat and planning meals is becoming a full time job/hobbie. Today was rough. When you can't eat white potatoes, corn, wheat, grains, or dairy, food can become real unfun! Lol. But I'm going to work it and I'm going t be healed! One day at a time :)

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