Everyday is what you make it. God never said that I wouldn't have trials, pain, and hard times. I've been going through this specific trial for 3 years now. Ever day, each and every day I want it to be over. Sometimes depression tries to come over me but every day I try to fight. Some days, I'm not successful, but some days I fight as if my life depends on it. Because it does! Each day that I let myself wallow in pain and the why me's I hinder the progress I've made the days before. I'm a firm believer that if you aren't moving forward then you are moving backwards. Even doing nothing causes you to drift backwards and miss the new things God is trying to do.
How do you go on when you feel pain, despair, alone and confused as to why this is happening to you? Each time those feelings come up, you give them to God. Why? Because, "He has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" (Hebrews 13:5-7) God will never leave. That disparity and emotional pain may be linked to fear. Fear that God won't heal you or that he has forgotten. No man (or even satan for that matter) can do anything to me that God can't fix! God can do anything, including heal. It may take some time...
Man! After I think about the above sentence and realize it may take some time for complete healing to manifest in my body, I feel all those feelings again! Lord what kind of life will I live in the meantime? Lord how will I cope with the stares, the questions, the ignorance, and the harsh words of others while you decide when the right time is to heal me? I just have to remember that God is a restorer and that it's up to me what type of life I will live. If I say am living a life of worship, no matter whats going on, my daily life should reflect that. I don't like this one bit, but I won't let the enemy get the glory out of my life. If I really let this sadness and despair get to me, it will take me out quick! I will have joy even if I have to fall to my knees daily and ask God for it.
My husband said it best. No, you don't deserve this and you don't want to go through it but right now, this is what you are going through. This isn't a dream. It may feel like a nightmare but it's just life. Good things and bad things happen to God's people. But isn't he still loving? Yes. If you are feeling anger over your current situation, whatever it may be, I dare you to ask God to take that anger away. Express to Him your feelings and ask Him to be everything you need. He promised He'd never leave so that means he is waiting.
I pray right now for whole ness and healing to anyone who may read this. I pray that God will begin to restore, give patience, heal emotions and heartbreak, clean hearts, and remove disease. I rebuke all autoimmune conditions in myself, my children, my friends, and all those I come in contact with. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen!
I truly believe God has me going through this so that I can heal others. I declared a while go,( wow I'm just remembering this) that I'd lay hands on the sick and heal them in Jesus name. I'm going through this so that I can gain compassion so that when I hug those sick people and tell them "I know how you feel," it won't be a lie.