Oh The Memories.....

As I prepare to become a parent, I reflect on all the things I did as a child. I was a pretty good kid. Curious, inquisitive, and busy but good none the less good. Got straight A's and was always bringing home awards and accolades from school. But like any child, I had my moments.

I once received a swat at private school because I turned the light off in the bathroom. It was a reflex because my mom had been drilling us at home to turn the lights off. But kids were in the restroom and it caused an uproar. I got popped with a ruler, got sent home with a letter, and got a spanking when I got home from my mom! I was just trying to be successful. Lol. *Sigh* That's the type of stuff I got in trouble for. Seemingly innocent actions taken WAY out of proportion. If you read my previous blog you know about the infamous rug burning story! In short, I copied something I saw my mother do a few times with the stove burners and ended up burning both of my aunts rugs. Just curious...

I was speaking to my mom yesterday and I brought up that story and she laughed. She said why did you do that Camile? I told her I don't know! I didn't know why I did it back then at 6 so how could I know now? I also don't know why I scratched my uncle's car with a rock. Yeah, I scratched the whole right side of his brand new red Pathfinder truck. I deserved that whooping. I distinctly remember my mother telling me, "Now Camile, don't you pick up any rocks or anything and scratch that car! You be careful." Huh? What? I can scratch a car with a rock? I'd never known! Why did my mother even say that to me? So of COURSE I picked up a rock and scratched the car! Again I don't know why I did it...I also don't know why I picked up a razor blade and played with it until I cut myself. Yeah, I cut the hell out of my finger. I distinctly remember my mother telling me, "Now you see this razor?" She asks as she takes it from the window seal. "Don't play with it. You can really hurt yourself," she warned as she placed it back in the window seal....what? I could cut myself. It's THAT sharp? That little flimsy thing? Why did my mother even have to tell me about the razor like I just play in her window seal? I wouldn't have even known! So of COURSE I went in her room and found the razor and cut myself. I came out her room asking for a bandage and her response was, "You done cut yourself with that razor!"...I blame her! She would always give me these out of the blue warnings. Lol like mom. I wouldn't have even thought that up! Of course she denies it! She says I'm making it up.

It's so funny to remember these stories. The strange things I did, some of which I did NOT get in trouble for just "Why would you do that Camile?" Followed by an exaggerated sigh...Like one time I cut all the bathroom towels (the decorative ones). I just got the scissors, went in the bathroom, and snipped each one about an 8th of an inch in random places...for NO apparent reason. Or when my mom was sleep I would pick at her freeze hair style making it frizzy. She would get so mad! You remember the Freeze! It looked like really small finger waves but the crown of the hair was lifted and "frozen" into place kinda like a waterfall or pompadore to give the style more volume. Picking it leads to product flakes and just not a good look...

Yes I was curious and strange and created my own fun! My mom said she had fun with us growing up. And I know I will have fun with CeeCee.

I used to smile so hard that my cheeks would hurt. Just walking around smiling. My mom would ask what I was smiling at and I'd say nothing. I was just happy with life. My mom told me to never lose that but I know it's been dampered. Life deals you some awful blows man and I admit that for a while there I had lost all joy, hope and my smile, like literally. This illness has changed the structure of my facial features and took away my full lips and large nose. People have even asked me if I've had surgery. I just do not look the same. And even smiling became a painful reminder of what I've been dealing with. Dang it! Tears again! For a time I wouldn't come out the house and even now I HATE taking pictures. But im smiing through these tears as I write. I'm taking back my smile and my joy...I pray that little Ms. CeeCee won't let life steal her joy. I'm going to lead by example.

I'm excited to see her antics. I know her father was a hellion. Haha. I've told you the worst of what I did and from the stories I've heard of my friends awful behavior during childhood, I was pretty mild. Let's just pray CeeCee is like me in that regard. She can take after other things from her father!

(My changing smile.  From left to right: 2004, 2008,2013.)


~Cam